It’s been another big week for Britney Spears – not only was she involved in another paparazzi hit and run incident, but the Fed-Ex vs. Brit-Brit custody battle has become so confusing that I’m not even sure the judge knows where the kids are any more. But this is only the present. And, as always, the present is mere seconds – seconds! – from being the past.
I should be worried about the future. More specifically, I need to be worried about next Tuesday, October 30th, when Britney Spears’ new album, Blackout, hits the stands. It’s her first original music release since 2003 and I have no idea what to expect. On one hand, I should probably buy the album and listen to it on repeat until I have it committed to memory – both so that I may know my enemy better and because I need to learn from her for when I finally get around to recording my five world-wide hit pop albums.
On the other hand, should I buy the album at all? Should I support Brit’s downward spiral of a drug-dazed life by purchasing her CD? Wouldn’t that be sending the wrong message to Jive Records and the music industry at large?
Well, some of Brit’s closest acquaintances and former hangers-on say no. In fact, they’ve started a MySpace page, Be Proactive To Help, which urges anyone who truly cares about Brit to boycott her music and merchandise (and here I was, about to buy her new fragrance, In Control, so that I could see what Britney thinks being in control smells like). More than an utterly confusing mashing of an absolute train wreck of un-diagramable words, Be Proactive To Help really wants to see Britney get better and return to her former rock-hard-abs glory. The thought behind the boycott is that if Jive was financially affected by Brit’s mental state that they will force her to seek help and get healthy.
Upon first viewing the page, I was a bit moved. Here are people – fans – being proactive to help. Together. Would so many people be proactive to help me if I were in trouble? Would they even make a weird MySpace page for me? I decided then and there: as much as I wanted to hear it, I wouldn’t buy Blackout next week. I would save the pop star and save the world.
About an hour later, I was still on the site. The sun had set without my noticing, my blog was sitting cold and unupdated at updating time, my cat was hungry and confused. I couldn’t stop reading – the comments, the profiles of the commenters, the profiles of the significant others of the commenters. Oh, the body glitter and the sadness! Oh, the creepy middle-aged men who say they haven’t bought an album since …Baby One More Time! Oh, the pink backgrounds with slightly darker pink fonts! Oh, the John Mayer soundtracks!
And, around that time, when I was getting pink MySpace wallpaper eyestrain, that I realized that I had been tricked. Be Proactive to Help might be being proactive to help Britney, but they were being proactive to hinder me – my goals and my dreams. Instead of doing any of the many tasks I need to complete in order to surpass Britney’s success, I was sucked into wasting hours of my time. On purpose.
Yes, I will buy Blackout next week. And I will study it and I will learn. I will not be tricked by Brit’s posse again. I will stay focused and see nothing but my goal of being better at life than Britney Spears. In the end, hopefully, I will reek of being in control. To help.
10 comments
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October 25, 2007 at 4:19 am
rebecca
dont buy it.
October 25, 2007 at 10:11 am
bedahinfo
Britney,
To young to be famous…and now….there she is
October 25, 2007 at 4:08 pm
bethyoung
excellent.
October 25, 2007 at 4:29 pm
abarclay12
I won’t buy the CD, but I will steal it from my little sister. I think that’s the just thing to do.
October 25, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Lindsay
Well at least you will be one up on brit if you buy the CD, unlike the britster you will actually know all the words to the songs and at least smell like you’re incontrol. Right now I imagine she reeks of wet ashtray, stale cheeto’s and Banana Boat Super Dark Tanning Oil Spray.
October 28, 2007 at 12:58 am
Tammy
I have contacted Gina Orr, Jason Trawick and Sorrell Trope in concern for Britney Spears. No comment has been made in return as of date. I have offered help for Britney and her family and no one seems to even take the time to look into the care being offered.
I am very concerned for Britney right now. I fear that this may be leading to the taking of her own life before all is said and done.
I would like to challenge Britney to 180 days in my care. i believe I can take her in now and turn out a whole new woman and mother 180 days later. I will not promise life term change that will always be followed by Britney. That will be her choice to follow through or not. I CAN, however, put her on a healthier and more promising path towards the future of herself and children.
Rehab and other methods have failed her so far. I now challenge her to accept my offer and allow me the 180 days to help her change her life.
If she is not pleased with the care provided to her, she owes nothing. If she is pleased with the care provided to her, she can offer whatever payment she feels fit for the services provided. I do not want to turn a profit on her name. i do not want to flaunt my name about nor do I seek riches or fame. I only seek to help this woman in her time of great need.
Tammy Harlan
October 28, 2007 at 1:03 am
Tammy
OOPPSS,
Looks like I did it this time. Out of pure habit… I typed my office number. Please don’t ring my phone off the line! I won’t buy the album, I swear!!!!
Tammy Harlan
October 28, 2007 at 2:34 am
seaswell
tammy – i edited out your phone number – no problem.
October 28, 2007 at 6:22 am
Tammy
Thank you soooooo much seaswell! Tammy
February 22, 2008 at 2:30 am
CARLA
OMG I LOVE HER SONGS BUT I THINK THEY SHOULD JUST GIVE HER KIDS TO KEVIN FEDERLINE