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I had a vivid dream last night that I was an eagle scientist – an innovative and extremely professional eagle scientist lucky enough to be chosen by some sort of eagle scientist committee to study a newly discovered type of eagle. I was honored.
These new and rare eagles nested at the tops very high trees and almost everything about their way of life was shrouded in mystery. The few glimpses we did get were truly majestic and I itched to learn more – how did they interact socially? When were they active? What did their diet consist of?
Being so very innovative, I soon rigged a perch for myself that looked down on several nests. It was very clever of me and the eagle scientist committee was pleased with their decision to nominate me.
But – putting the binoculars up to my face and looking down into the nests for the first time I was horrified to discover what these special, rare, majesty eagles were eating. Kittens.
Each of the nests contained several of them – for some reason they brought the kittens unharmed to their nests and kept them alive until they were hungry. The kittens sat in the huge nests stoically, with their adorable oversized ears and downy-soft kitten fur. They stood at attention slowly blinking their big kitten eyes and every now and again letting out little mews – not worried or desperate mews, but calm, innocent mews.
I was flooded with mixed emotions. This was an enormous discovery – perhaps important enough for me to win the annual eagle scientist award given to the eagle scientist who most advanced the study of eagles, the Nobel Prize of the eagle scientist community. Interfering with the eagle’s way of life would certainly not only ruin all of my eagle research but also ruin my reputation permanently. On the other hand, they were eating kittens! Adorably well-behaved kittens!
I sat in my perch day after day, watching kittens disappear and be replaced by different but equally innocent and stoic kittens. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking it: what if I saved just one kitten. Just one. The inner conflict was tearing me apart. Just one. Just one kitten.
I woke up extremely affected and the dream sort of floated around me for hours, like some dreams do. What does it mean? Was my subconscious telling me about my issues separating my career (eagle scientist) with my emotions (loving kittens)? Am I about to make a terrifying discovery in my own life? Do I just simply love kittens?