sexy witchOne of my favorite parts of maintaining a blog is visiting my WordPress stats page and looking at the list of search terms that have led people to my blog. A lot of them make sense: “Britney Spears weird” or “Aswell complaining” though a lot of them don’t. (My favorites are the questions: “What should I know before proposing?” and “Did you eat my cookie?”

However, it’s been unsettling since I made a post about sexy author photos in which I briefly decried the glut of sexy Halloween costumes for women over the last few years. I, along with a commenter or two, made fun of the phenomenon by mentioning a few ridiculous sexy costume ideas, such as sexy firewoman or sexy burrito.

You can imagine my horror, when, ever since then, I’ve been getting dozens of Google hits for people looking for sexy costume for the upcoming holiday. Here’s a sampling from the last day or two:

  • Sexy flower costume
  • Sexy janitor Halloween
  • Sexy costume for wife
  • Sexy girl scout
  • Sexy burrito
  • Sexy train conductor
  • Sexy ghost
  • Sexy maid costume (child size)

Yes, you read the last one correctly. And yes, as much as we don’t want to sound like our grandfathers, this country is all gone to hell.

But perhaps we need to look at this trend more closely. Why do women want to dress in sexy outfits on Halloween? Is it simply because it’s an excuse to do so? Is it because the store was all out of unsexy gorilla costumes? Is it because the sexy elf costume you wore to the office Christmas party went over so well?

Or is it because women are embarrassed about being sexy under normal circumstances, when they are not acting like someone else, and Halloween is a time when they feel comfortable showing off their bodies?

I often hear of groups of girls deciding to take a night on the town dressed up as they usually wouldn’t, or all dressing slutty for a bachelorette party – like they’re using the event or the consent of the other women as an excuse to dress and act in a way that isn’t normally acceptable for them. If anyone questions them, it was just for fun – a joke. Sure, they say, I’m totally straight and socially conservative, but for fun we all put on fishnet tights and made out with each other!

I don’t know as much about feminist theory as I’d like (I’ve just got an intro class and a few books under my belt, but that’s it) and I’m curious as to what’s going on here. Is it that many women are sexually suppressed, and this is their sexuality pushing its way out like a leak in a dam? Is it just for attention? Why can’t they make out with each other when they’re not in fishnet tights, pretending to be a different sort of person? Why do I find fishnet tights so extremely itchy?

The next question is, do I have a problem because I’m uncomfortable with this? I don’t exactly have a closet full of hot pants and corsets, but I’d also consider myself very comfortable with my sexuality. I’m still young enough that this isn’t generational, right? I suppose all I know is that Halloween is supposed to be about miniature candy bars. And bachelorette parties are supposed to be about the tasteless cocktail straws.

I guess, in a way, I should at least be happy that the sexy costumes listed above are more diverse than the conventional, unimaginative sexy costumes of past years: sexy nurse, sexy devil, sexy witch, sexy cheerleader, sexy maid (adult size).

And maybe the person who wanted to buy a sexy train conductor outfit for Halloween is doing it for social commentary’s sake. It’s a win-win angle: make fun of sexy costumes and still look sexy! I’ll even admit I want to see a sexy burrito, all covered in hot salsa and cheeky beans, probably with her mini-tortilla wrap barely covering her ass. I’d bet money she makes out with the sexy janitor. She looks hungry.