After getting a few hours of writing done after work, Ben and I walked up the street and returned to our apartment with a few deli wraps and a bottle of wine.
We then spent the night watching mixed martial arts fights on TV, toasting to various things, and envisioning how the next few months of our lives are going to unfold. Now that we will both work from the home, how are things going to change?It was quickly decided (after two glasses of wine) that as far as our growing home office was concerned, Ripley would be named Chief Executive Officer. It was also quickly decided that Rips would look really, really cute in a tie.
I thought it would be a good idea to install a water cooler in the living room so that we could take breaks and talk about the latest episode of Dancing with the Stars. We both agreed that any emails we sent to each other would now be referred to as “office-wide memos.”
Ben also suggested that we instate a company policy prohibiting interoffice relationships in order to promote professionalism, but Ripley and I quickly struck it down. After three glasses of wine, we decided that instead of “dress-down Fridays” we’d have “drunk Fridays” – you know, just to keep everyone comfortable and to keep company morale up.
The list of things that our office wouldn’t have was highly encouraging, though. No more commutes, no more bagged lunches. No more dress code, no more dour 15-minute birthday celebrations. More importantly, no more spreadsheets (or, at least, very few), no more working on projects I don’t choose, no more phone addict cube mate.
I know that the challenges ahead of me are hard, but at least they’ll be my challenges. And even though my new boss demands to be fed twice a day and makes me clean up her poop, at least she doesn’t have the ability to talk. Or use emoticons.
14 comments
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January 24, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Liz
I’m glad your new company is at the forefront of species diversity.
Congratulations, but don’t think I won’t be e-mailing you with horrible updates on the vday wedding. I might even have to make some personal calls to you.
January 24, 2008 at 4:18 pm
AmandaRenee
I think the water cooler is the best idea up there. First paycheck you get is dedicated to that.
P.S. I’m making your mom’s Chicken and Dumpling soup right now. The dumplings are huge and terrifying, but it smells wonderful.
January 24, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Sophie
Congratulations, Sarah! You’ve made a really brave, admirable choice. It’s not always easy having a cat for a boss. Good luck!
January 24, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Reality Writes
hahaha
can’t wait to hear about the 6-month eval
January 24, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Lowell
Adding non-human to the payroll is always a good move. My dog Lizzy is the Director of Physical Security at Vaughn Research, Inc. I signed her up for a couple of free magazine subscriptions based on that, and how she gets quite a lot of mail based on that.
I keep waiting for her to get a phone call.
January 24, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Your Brother
I tried throwing milk-jug cap-pulls at my CEO, and he just looked annoyed at me.
Maybe you’re CEO will like it better.
January 24, 2008 at 8:00 pm
slurredpress
I’m so happy for you, stranger!
Also, something about imagining my cats and other people’s cats in business attire sends me into hysterics.
If I get fired for laughing too loud I’d like to send my resume to Ripley.
January 24, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Ligoliowomi
Hey, I wonder if The Lump is available to be your secretary. It’d be nice to watch Ripley lay into her, eh?
January 25, 2008 at 1:03 am
ApK
What a brilliant arrangement…I think your company model needs to be more widely used…particularly drunken fridays. I’m a strong believer that meetings would all go better with frosty umbrella drinks or at least a round of shots…
January 25, 2008 at 1:22 am
Kitty
That is the most dignified looking CEO I’ve ever seen.
January 25, 2008 at 4:19 am
amh
I am so excited for you!
January 27, 2008 at 3:57 pm
lisamm
I wouldn’t worry too much about the career switch. Your CEO looks like a pussycat.
January 28, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Ripley
Memo
To: staff
From: CEO
Date: 26 Jan. 2008
Subject: Mission statement:
Staff: Brood Mission Statement-
If we are tired, we nap.
If we are hungury, we eat.
I it runs, we chase it.
Read.
Print out and sign.
Return a copy to HR for your file.
Rip
January 18, 2009 at 8:21 am
Cattt
Yeah! Go Ripley! I know you would look great in a tie! Don’t forget your briefcase!